HELLO (: I've been so busy this week that I feel like I went away to Jupiter or Mars. But yes I was at LOG retreat from tuesday till friday. Then all the christmas stuff! Actually I've lots in my mind but I dont know where to start.

LOG retreat.
I found God again. I found those relationships with the loggers. Retreat made me realise that this group of individuals are not just normal friends to me. We are bonded not because of memories or fun, but rather bonded by the love of God and the willingness to serve in whatever way we can. This means that no matter how far we drift apart, the bonds will never be broken because God is within them. I'm not sure how to express whats in my head. I guess you just have to experience it yourself! Haha. I thank every logger for the openess, empathy, sensitivity, wisdom and love displayed during the retreat. More importantly, I praise and thank God for: the many many honest sharings, the opportunity to praise God in worship together and the fun laughter tears and joys. All the affirmations/fuzzies and all the silly moments :b A time of renewal and growth. YAY.

Chirstmas
As for christmas, it was beautiful sharing christmas midnight mass with LOG. Thank you for the many cards and presents. I hope the guys love the cacti! You guys better take good care of it and make sure it doesnt die! The girls will do inspections (: Haha. This morning was fun with my family, opening all the presents. It was touching to see my siblings so happy to receive something or so happy that someone else likes their present. Taking Joy in the joys of others.

Have a blessed christmas everyone! Love, Jess/Mummy. HAHA (:

Roseann complains (again) that because I don't blog, she doesn't know what happens in my life. Which is untrue. Anyway I had a great conversation with her last night (: We should do this more often okay. And I want to meet up with the girls. They seem to be meeting up without me. This is sad. Sorry sonn I cldnt go pick you up, cramps were terrible. But I'm glad you're back in singapore! Finally.

Yea I'm supposed to meet weixin nicole and poon at 1230! So that means I've gotta go get ready. After that it's shopping with the log girls? (: I need to buy my christmas cards and christmas dress please. Oh oh. I've decided that well. Lit can wait a while. I hate lit. Meanwhile, retreat planning is going quite smooth. So I'm not so stressed and I'm looking forward to retreat and time spend with loggers.

And you better come back soon. Before Roseann complains I'm grouchy again.

I'm back! Yup, malacca was quite good. I did a little bit of shopping, not that that much. But I had loads of fun with my family there and the food is absolutely delicious. Haha. Mummy caught the travel bug, she wants to go overseas again. yaay. Next year! Bangkok please.

I've tons of work left. The pile hasnt moved. It's still two essays. Lit essays. Kill me please. And I forgot what the details of Handmaid's Tale so I've to reread the whole thing again. Haha I'm getting quite scared for next year, honestly. a whole new year, with an even heavier workload. Alevels. How I'm going to manage everything, church school friends. I'm scared. Really. Send me back to primary one where I was all innocent and stressfree. I dont want to grow up.

I'm off to Malacca tmr, I'll be back on tuesday night (: Please don't call. Love.

All this planning is making me so tired. When all I hear is this person cannot, the other person cannot confirm, everyone's might be going away or everyone's busy. I understand really. But its getting so tiring planning this with like 2 other people, when it seems like no one is even coming or there's no support. Help me Lord. I'm really struggling not to be a bitch to people because I am so tired. Heal me from within, you know how weak I am now. Strengthen me to keep me going. I'm now scared to leave on sunday, to leave everything to joan. sorry.

Okay I was feeeling super super happy from last night until I read sth. Now I feel sad/angry. This sucks. I shldnt be feeling angry, I've no right to I guess. But it's just super irritating. It seems like he's just giving up. I think I need to pray. I shldnt be feeling this way.

On to happier news. I had tons of fun meeting up with the girls last night! (: Thanks dears for the cake plus presents. I havent laughed so so hard in a long while with cake in my mouth. Haha. It's a wonder how even though each of us has grown up in our own way and how we see each other less now, that we still have so much to talk/scream/laugh about. I love you all much much.

Soo and Rice made me smile. Not all hope is lost. I think.

Where are you LOG? Why can't I find you?

10 people at session today. core was like depressing. Where has everybody gone to? Isn't session a priority? Does the retreat mean anything to anyone? I suddenly feel tired and disappointed I guess. We've been like going around in circles for so long. I was hoping for a change or something. Isn't there the commitment to god and to the community?

On another note, the weekend was fine. Had my fun la, managed to finish a few books so I'm quite happy. Reading is good. It's free and it occupies my time. I shall read more.

I am so bored at home, waiting to go meet the other loggers :D so thats something good. I finished part of my history homework. Well the asean essay la. It's a start, there's still tons of lit waiting. I played cinema tycoon just now. I think I've played most of the msn/yahoo games. They're quite fun okay. Hahaha.

feline/poon/weixin
Hello dears, take care in india okay? If there's any terrorist attacks, sg rsaf will come and save you! But seriously, keep safe. Eat well. Try not to fall sick all right? Sorry i'm not going to send you guys off tmr. Much love (: -muah